The U.N. Needs to Take a Chill Pill

C.R.O.C.B.L.O.G Carbon Regulatory Offset Committee Business Livelihood Online Group

The U.N. Needs to Take a Chill Pill

Carl Jeez. Can you believe this stuff?

The United Nations (scoff!) last week suspended the world’s largest certifier of offset projects. Why? Because “it was unable to prove its staff had properly vetted projects that were then approved for the carbon-trading scheme, or even that they were qualified to do so.”

So?! Big deal Sherlock!! Did you really expect them to look at each and every project they certified? Do you have any idea how much work that would be? Plus, everyone knows some of the questions they wanted answered are really hard.

Of course, I bet Greenpeace just LOVES this news…I can see them now, just rolling around in it like my dog in a pile of hot dog stand refuse at a county fair.

Jerks. Why do they have to be so uptight? Over-thinking everything.

As Carbie the Offsetasaurus sings so beautifully: “Don’t think about the logic, that’s no fun. Just believe that it works and our work is done!” I mean, if fifth graders at the Spring Hills Mall can understand this, why can’t the fancy-pants experts at the U.N.?

You know what the biggest problems is with these non-believers? They rain on everyone’s parade. Now the press is saying things like “the legitimacy of the $100 billion carbon-trading market has been called into question…” and “a large reliance on domestic and international offsets could undermine confidence in the new carbon market.” chillin' out

Haven’t these people learned anything from the financial crash? Problems only started when people started doubting that sub-prime mortgages were worth something. As long as everyone looked the other way and believed what they were told without thinking too hard, everything was fine. Some people just don’t learn from history.

Well, we at CROC don’t want to repeat mistakes of the past. So, let me say to the United Nations: Relax already! Stop being so nosy! I’m sure some lobbyist out there can tell you why everything is ok. Don’t worry about the truth. Truthiness should be more than enough.

Carl

Tags: C.R.O.C, EDC, hearts, hip, introductions, kids, offsets, planet, pollution, trees, truthiness

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 at 7:28 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Name

Go ahead and cut on the CDM and offsets. The polluters love it, because your are also cutting on the Kyoto Protocol, which after all is the (very weak--but what did most know in 1997) the stepping stone that got us to COP15.

Problems with implementing CDMs and offsets? Yes, of course. Problems with the concept? No.

Here is some news you will have to ridicule. Norway pledged last week at Bangkok to achieve 40% reductions by 2020, and has elsehwere pledged to be CO2 neutral by 2030. Some of that will be accomplished with offsets. Be sure and just smear the whole thing--Glenn Beck loves it.

Ricardo Coelho

This website is great! And right now I'm planting a bonsai to offset the emissions from the electricity I'm spending. Next, I'll give some money to an animal rights organization so that I can earn the right to throw rocks at the abandoned dogs in my street. The logic is as sound as offsetting emissions right?
By the way, did you notice that Al Capone was a precursor of humanitarian offsets? He gave money to charities and that gave him the right to kill and rob lots of people. What a great man!

dh

Don't flatter yourselves "Greenpeace.....over thinking everything". I think you guys are guilty of oversimplification and misrepresentation. The logic of an offset scheme is actually sound. Companies emitting greenhouse gases have to submit permits to pollute. Good news pollution is finally included as a cost of production instead of an externality. Gov't sets regulation only allocating a certain number of permits which can be reduced year on year thus providing a mechanism to control and reduce greenhouse gas pollution. This is a global problem so stopping pollution anywhere in the world at the least cost will produce less impact to our economies while establishing more sustainable infrastructure and management practices elsewhere in exchange for offset permits.

I would have thought the area for criticism is in implementation not the logic or intent. All offset guidelines say they have to be additional, permanent, verifiable etc. So the UN has suspended an auditor. Isn't this evidence that the intent is there to make the offset system functional. Easy target using that news to argue the opposite.

FatCatz

Why didn't I think of this sooner. Now I won't have to pour my waste oil into a hole at midnight.. I can get enough carbon offsets so I can burn it it broad daylight with shame or legal recrimination.. Thank You CROC!

Ingo Puhl

Fight for your right to offset !!! CROC might want to tell the Beastie Boys who walk their own talk and offset: http://www.greenhighway.net/beastieboys/greenin...