Clearcut for the Climate!!! « C.R.O.C.B.L.O.G

C.R.O.C.B.L.O.G Carbon Regulatory Offset Committee Business Livelihood Online Group

Clearcut for the Climate!!!

Carl In the world of offsets, you gotta stay on your toes. Cause offsets can make things possible that you never, ever, ka-never expected to see on this planet. Like unicorns. Or Jackalopes. Or Keanu Reeves winning an Oscar…though he was pretty good as Johnny Utah in Point Break.

Hold onto your hemp sandals, treehuggers. Don’t drop your vanilla soy lattes, yippies. According to a new offset plan:

CLEARCUTS + SMOKESTACKS = AWESOMENESS for the CLIMATE!!!

I told you to hold onto that latte. While you’re cleaning the coffee stain out of your pants, let me explain.

California is building a cap and trade system. And instead of always requiring polluters to clean up their act, the State — in it’s infinite wisdom — is allowing polluters to buy offsets so they can keep polluting. You’re thinking, “Ok, whatever, Carl. Big deal. California should join the Give-Polluters-a-Pass-With-Offsets-Club.” Hold on. Here’s where it gets great/weird.

Because calculating the value of offsets involves plenty of math and lots of ifs, ands and what-have-yous, there is room to be creative. So, like master artists molding clay, logging company lobbyists have talked state officials into believing that clearcutting — something linked to climate pollution — is actually good for the climate. Too good to be true? If you don’t believe me, read a bono-fide news article about it by clicking on this “hyperlink.”

Anyway, here’s how you do it. First, you promise to do a little less clearcutting than you “planned.” If you are a logging company, your “plans” are totally up you to and you can change them all the time.

Then, you can talk about the baby trees you will plant in the clearcut — and how are starving for CO2. You explain how they are hungry little carbon sticks that just can’t wait to offset pollution somewhere else.

Next, stir in some calculations (don’t be stingy with the math!) about how much carbon is theoretically stored in the wood you got from trees in the clearcut and… PRESTO! You can conjure up a mountain of offset credits worth millions of dollars!

So, the air can get dirtier in Los Angeles as long as corporate polluters buy offsets from clearcuts in the Sierra Mountains! Clearcut for the climate! Another win-win made possible by carbon offsets!

Does it get any better than this?

No, not really. So relish it now. Take a minute and savor it. Breathe deep…but not too deep if you are near a new coal-fired power plant outside of Fresno or something. Offsets may be unbelievably miraculous, but they can’t cure lung cancer…yet.

Tags: C.R.O.C, clearcut, cyberland, global warming, hearts, hip, jackalopes, magic, offsets, planet, Point Break, pollution, trees, truthiness, unicorns

This entry was posted on Friday, October 2nd, 2009 at 1:54 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

feathertickle

I've read up a little on this carbon offsets stuff, since good ole' Al Gore supposedly uses them all the time. Yet I have to study more about this issue. Clearcuts can actually be beneficial in some certain stands of forests that are diseased too heavily. Or depending on what variety of trees are growing in the area that is being planned to be harvested. There is such a big scope to this issue though. Companies who plan on doing the work, since some are better than others, etc. Trees really are renewable and grow back in areas they previously were beforehand and require minimal care with no irrigation as farmed products like corn do. As long as they leave corridors and strips of forests, and do not clearcut like crazy, I would rather see this than forest fires. Which too fill up the skies with Co2... So I can't be totally against forest management, either.

unleadpencil

To the naysayers, open your minds...this is exactly what's happening to the legislation and how taxpayers are getting hoodwinked while polluters keep on doing what they're doing. There's nothing in an offset to encourage stopping or slowing or changing a polluter's current activity. Sometimes it takes a simple site like this to make the point. Currently companies like Massey Coal can buy green credits on the market produced by other companies, they're not incented to alter their behavior one iota. Thanks for what you do.

pinot22

This is hilarious, and oh so true. Sierra Pacific Industries is not going to change their faux-certified clearcut logging practices one bit, and if we don't join together as citizens, the State of California may very well let them sell these faux-offsets on the carbon market. Sure, offsets are the lowest-cost solution to solving pollution, and believe me people, this is a case where we will get what we pay for. The lower the cost, the less effective the solution.

Joe

Don't present any facts. Just demonize. Lenin did it so well, and look what he achieved.........

Joseph

You mean like you just did?

Name

What a CROC- this has got to be a joke, this web site can not be serious!

justinfelt

Quick point: Climate Action Reserve, the leading offset standard in the US, does not allow reforestation projects to be eligible within 10 years of previous harvesting (among a number of other requirements). Google it, and find much more.

My point is that offsets are a way of incentivizing GHG reduction, and if implemented properly, are a very effective way of bringing in forestry and agriculture into the capped arena.

The idea that corporations need to do internal reductions no one disputes, but no one should also dispute the need to find lowest cost solutions for reducing GHG emissions, of which offsets are one way.

This website takes an oversimplified take on a very complex issue. For those entities striving to create climate change policy that could garner wider support, this sort of website is counterproductive in my view, by creating fuel for enemies of climate change legislation in general. Come to the table, and find a workable solution that get 60 votes in the senate. Otherwise, this effort is wasted.