I feel like a broken record these days, but I have to repeat: there is no such thing as too much of an awesome thing.  If it’s awesome, it’s even awesomer to have more awesomeness.

Recognizing this, and how awesome offsets are, a group of big polluting corporations sent an urgent letter to Senators this week, demanding more international offsets and relaxed standards for them.   I applaud them.  Good going, polluting corporations.

Sure, climate legislation in the House allows for 1,750,000,000 tons of international offsets and the bill in the Senate allows for 1,250,000,000 tons, but is that really enough?  I think no way,  Jose.  Carbon is heavy.  Even when it is in the air.  You think carbon dioxide gas is light?  Try lifting a ton of it, tough guy.

So, to loosely paraphrase Carl Sagan, it only makes sense that we’ll need “billions and billions” of tons of offsets from overseas.

I mean, if McDonald’s can serve billions of cheap burgers, it just makes sense some of the biggest polluters in the world should be able to spew billions of tons of pollution into the air.  Right?  Think of offsets as Happy Meals, but instead of getting a decoder ring, you get to emit, say, a few tons of soot and sulfur hexafluoride.

Let’s look at this another way. When AIG got $170 billion in federal bailout money, did they stop there?  Heck no!  They went back for another $65 billion federal loan!  And, then they made plans to hand out $165 million in bonuses for executives.  So it just makes sense corporate polluters shouldn’t be happy with 1,250,000,000 tons of international offsets!

But, here is where I think the huge polluting multi-national corporations did not go far enough.   They should have asked for NO LIMIT at ALL!

To loosely paraphrase the Eagles, “take it to the limit”…and then blow right past the sucker.  Words to live by whether you’re talking about drinks over lunch break, rides on a rollercoaster, driving on an interstate, or tons of climate pollution excused by international offsets!*

*Billions of tons of offsets not available in all stores. Actual carbon pollution reduction results may vary. No refunds or returns. McDonald’s is not giving out international carbon offsets with Happy Meals, so don’t ask for one in the drive-thru…you’ll sound stupid. Carl Sagan was a lot of things, but he was never a spokesperson for C.R.O.C.